Of course, one can doubt all these and suspect trickery of certain sort, but if there was one thing all the performers agreed upon, it was that there are powers untapped in us that we do not exploit. Hasn't it been said that humans use less than 10% of the brain's capacity?

I shall briefly talk about a few of my experiences during the past few days, stuff that has left a place in my heart.

First up was on the 27th of Dec, when me and joyhoshi went down to the hospice to see the patients there. In particular was this auntie friend of ours that we both wanted to meet. To be honest, in the past when I went down to the hospice, part of me was expecting that my own needs be fulfilled as well. I was looking to be entertained, to be noticed, stuff like that... and when I was neglected I might even feel upset and do silly things. This time, I tried to focus on the people there, on trying to think less of me and more of them. And I really did enjoy myself more... Afterall why would I need to be in the limelight, when the true joy comes from seeing others happy? For once I really hope I can stay this way forever.

The fellowship of me and joyhoshi met Uncle Robert, a volunteer there who approached us cos he noticed we were keeping to ourselves. At the very least I was, cos I kinda saw them as unfamiliar faces and were afraid to talk to them first. At the bottomline, I was SHY. Period. But he told us a few pointers and gave us a few tips in life, such as be humble but be honest too. Sometimes I felt like he was coming on too strongly and I had difficulty reacting (the fact that I was shy didn't help matters either), but all in all I felt he was merely sharing his good intentions with us.

On the day itself Slyvia came, and I previously had some misunderstanding with her. Things were pretty bad, and I didn't want to spoil her mood by letting her see me either. When she turned up the devil inside me was going: "Ignore her, pretend you didn't see and do your stuff...". Yet there was a part that told me to go up to her. I remembered what Uncle Robert said about fear holding us back (and indeed, alot of times fear does keep us from doing the things we *really* want, isn't it?), and with a "oh what-the-heck, how can things be any worse" attitude, I went up and said I was really sorry for what I did. Initially she was rather cold, but she shook my hand as she remarked that Xmas was a time for forgiveness. Honestly, at this point, I felt better but I was still wondering if I should just be happy and stay away from her to avoid making things awkward agn.

I did stay away, but at one point I came to have a cup of water in my hands and I thought of asking her if she wanted it. Again I was held back by fear, but after a long while of hesitation I went up to her agn. My cerebral cortex was always screaming at me not to get involved anymore, but once agn, I'm glad to have followed the heart and not the big brain.

Another high point of the day was when there was this magic show going on and I am a big fan of such stuff. (Many thanks to joyhoshi for staying back that day!) The magician was actually a 75yr old uncle! Me and joyhoshi were sitting in front, so we got called up onto stage a couple of times. It was actually the first time I ever got involved in sth like this, and being up there with my partner, makes it very memorable indeed. To be honest, I could see thru some of the magic tricks, and sometimes it makes me a little sad whenever it dawned upon me that so-called 'magic' actually requires intensive prop preparations and not just like 'do it on the spot'. In the past, when I couldn't figure out how magic was done, it seemed so mystical... and sometimes knowing the secret behind it takes all the mystery away. However, the magician was laughing and always gaily commenting that he was very happy showing off his magics to us. It makes me happy too. I don't know how to put it into words, but when a 75yr old man laughs like that it almost seems like a 5yr old marvelling at his latest toy, and it makes me glad.